24 February 2010

Straight Conversations

One of the very reason why I remain in the student organization AIESEC is because of the diversity of people from international background I could meet. The experience is simply unexplainable, but it comes down to this: I absolutely LOVE talking to the international interns. Especially those of western background. They are amazingly open about virtually everything, even Asians with western background is a bliss to talk with.

Here's one and she's from Australia.

"What kind of gay are you? Come on, you can't possibly don't know what's Jimmy Choo!"

I always forget about time when I talk to them. They are simply hilarious, nice AND dramatic to talk to.

20 February 2010

So That Is Why

After the revelations, me and Jin finally realized why Pam said such things before, things like "no la, we cannot become couple, we can only be friends.." "Ya la, I know Sim is a good person but we can only be friends" "I don't see we can become together as couples"

* * *

It was Wednesday after a tea session with Alexis (and lunch earlier with Eric too) in Mid Valley, we decided to drop by Subang for dinner and Alexis's mother will pick her up somewhere near my place.

So, as I was driving down the streets of a bustling business center, our conversation went towards Alexis's walkabouts in her campus life. Then, she came to mention a guy, her senior, is gay by the name of Sim. Knowing Taylors College PJ campus is kinda familiar to me since a good deal of my friends are studying there, I asked her for that person's full name.

Bingo. Exactly as I anticipated! He is Pam's bestie. Posted comments on her blog, shows up in photographs with her every now and then. Me and Sim even had a fleeting encounter when he replied to my comment about food in Pam's blog.

Oh well. The gay world is simply just too small...

The Awakening

You're back from Australia since December last year but whether you're back or not didn't really change the fact that I am still missing you because I am still all way down south in my campus. Until last Thursday when I am finally on my way to Subang hundreds of feet high in the sky.

My heart was all about meeting up with my friends. Especially knowing I am going to meet up with you here, in KL.

It's all that I wish for, and it was fulfilled this Thursday, in the same place where I last met you before you leave to Australia.

This time, I was more prepared to meet you, where my emotions are not blinded anymore from the obsession I had for you last year. The sweet melody of joy rung the moment I picked you up from a place that is remarkably close to my residence in Subang. Never thought that you were staying over in your crush's place.

Amazingly, I no longer felt that sicking pain knowing you are in comfort with other boys. This is also a fact why I changed my views on you when I saw you this time.

Still, I thank you for making conversations between us so much comfortable than I expected. It's the better for us to remain this way I think and Alexis's existence was a bliss and everything was perfectly the way it should be.

So the session throughout the day was just lunch at Sushi Zanmai @ Sunway Pyramid from 1pm until almost 5pm then a walk around the mall before we depart. All just conversations and the occasional laughter.

The contemplating moment was right after you left my car towards the entrance of an apartment. As your silhouette slowly fade in the myriads of random movements, my thoughts almost blurred my ability to continue driving.

But as soon as I arrived home, it all became clear that I am officially released from the grasp of my own obsession towards you. I know that you are no longer the dream-boy that I fancy all time thanks to the release of my emotions. And because of this, my judgment became clear that I would now only want you to be my very best buddy. Nothing more nothing less.

No, I still think that you're a great person, likes science, understand my rants and sometimes listen to me. Also you have that angelic smile that I absolutely adore. But, somehow, I grasp that there is this little thing in our conversations. Perhaps it's just you or maybe it's quite simply a cruel judgement. Whatever it is, it is like a chink in a flow that I know if we ever develop into a courtship, it would be a problem - communications. And that's where I know all would breakdown and things will never be the same again.

So, instead of venturing into an "adventurous" relationship, I would rather stay apart for the better because I greatly treasure our friendship.

Besides, I know you've just found someone in your life, and surprisingly I am comfortable with that. Not precisely, but the fact is that the moment you left my car for your crush/beloved with that face full of hope, deep inside me, I truly wished you guys all the best because I know you deserve better.

Obviously I would be lying if I say this event inflict no feelings on me. It's just a tinge of bitterness that I hope I could shrug it off through time whether with alcohol or not.

02 February 2010

Post Nuclear Conversations

Yup, those messages continues again. But things are looking much better. :)

You replied: It's always easier to believe than anything else. 'faith' requires no proof or justification, no reason, no logic and no rationale. richard dawkins calls it delusion, and i couldnt agree more.

no Andrew, no. people left to believe whatever they want to is what is leading to the growth of religion-induced mayhem in the states. do you know they're trying to ban the teaching of evolution? failing that, to add creationism alongside evolution? religion in the classroom. sheesh!

i dont get the link between efficiency and the conservation of energy... losses are losses, with the way things are, one must be extremely happy with 40~50% as it is. did you know an internal combustion engine is only about 40% efficient too? i haven't any knowledge of 50% efficient plants, impressive as it is, the combine steam/gas cycle is (again) only about 45%.

haha by 'you' i meant 'humanity' =P

see why im pro-pro-pro-PRO-PROOOOO nuclear? =D its an excellent mid-term solution until the introduction of more advanced [fusion?] systems, and until windmills and solar plants are numerous enough to power the grid. AFAIK, the royal dutch shell windmills off the coast of Denmark [i watched on discovery =P] is only ~100MW, and if IIRC, the 3rd gen nuclear plants can do like what... 10 times that? =D

Me: I am so going to read the book "the god delusion". :D

Yup, share something with you: That even in university, the PURE biology students that studies in faculty of science are not exposed to evolution. Obviously due to the prevailing religion and it's influence.

According to my friend, all they learn was the applications of it and the bliss of genetic engineering. But how ironic isn't it?... See more

I am always not comfortable with humans altering genetics that so far has been the product of billion years of evolution.

Anyway, about the confusion in conservation of energy, I'll explain that further if I meet up with ya or in MSN becase it's pretty lengthy to explain.

But it all has to do with Einstein's golden E=MC^2


A portmanteau we use in the community where words got stick together and become one with a whole new meaning. This one is "gay" and "radar"

"The function of gaydar relies on usually non-verbal sensory information and intuitions. These include the sensitivity to social behaviours and mannerisms; for instance, acknowledging flamboyant mannerisms, overtly rejecting traditional gender roles, a person's occupation and grooming habits."

What else isn't it?

But this post is not focused on explaining what gaydar is all about but rather my competencies in it.

While I just had my dinner, it suddenly came to me that my ex-tuition teacher that guided me mathematics in STPM might actually be gay. I based on no evidence. Just pure instinct and a bold personality to actually text him for his Facebook account just to check him out.. (hehe)

Well, all the times when he taught me, I noticed his demeanor. Well, not too obvious. In fact, if I have never thought about it, I would have completely missed it. But now that I think about it..

I'm so getting better and better in these stuffs.

Anyways, it was the accessories he wore that tells me something. Almost every time he enters the class with new watches and occasionally coloured contacts.

Ooer.. Then after the thought, I texted him this:

"Hi, It's Savoir here.. one of your student when I'm studying in Form 6. Was browsing through my phone contacts and wanted to resend my gratitude towards your guidance. And by the way, can I add you in Facebook for contact? =)"

So much for "Resend my gratitude eh?" The motive is never more clearer.

Then yes, he gave me his msn address and added me in Facebook. One friend in common. Gay.

How can I judge by just one gay friend in my treasure trove of other gay friends right? Hence I clicked his friends list. Stalk-o-mania! And Voila!

My theory is again looking more conclusive! More and more of his male friends share common friends with my friends. Oops.

Now what'ya know? He send me a message shortly after adding me in Facebook. (Most likely after browsed through my friends list)

"Be careful when you know somebody from Facebook, do not trust a person too much and think first before action"

Now why did he send me that? Hmm...