27 December 2010

Since February

February is the only time I've met you again since, but I'm certain this will be the last for the year.

This time, the skies are too kind to elude the stunning glare of the evening sun because it was you I'm meeting. I don't need anything more to make the situation prettier. The thoughts itself are enough.

Yes, I'm lucky to be meeting you again. (and not CNY as we previously agreed on due to schedules)

Now, things are a little different than the last for I know, because Alexis told me something more than a friend would. Ever since her confession last semester, the mind has been making up situations like this and I've always wondered what is about to happen, I thought;

"How will it feels like?"

As my brother dropped me off across the street from our rendezvous in the surprisingly vacant business centre, I realized my eyes, instantly captured your familiar face through that windowpane of a well known cafe.

There, I've finally met your other half, as you put it. Quite I say, reasonable you've chosen him instead. Lucky you, lucky him, and I really do give my best regards on your relationship. So far, the best quote from Alexis was that you have the charms which enables you to choose instead of being the one chosen. I never find myself fell short in agreeing to that. Who can blame us?

You're still the same, for all the demeanor I know since February. But now, it doesn't matter anymore and I have to confess, since you dropped your alcohol habits by picking gym instead, being physically fit, I find myself staring at you for a while every now and then throughout the session. Both me and Alexis finds you alluring for your ability to be able to pull it off so effortlessly. She told me I have much to learn from you and I didn't deny.

The meeting was rather brief though. For me.

After you sent us home, I can't help to think how incredible it was to have that infatuation on you even it was just another union of a long disconnected friendship. Interestingly, both me and Alexis had the same thoughts when we are apart just moments away from you.

We will meet again, boy. Until then, I needed the time to mend that heart. You were surely one of the biggest I've met so far.

* * *

The time is silent. I hear only the whistles of my air-conditioning and the screen was the conversation between me and Alexis the evening before.

"I've told BL before I know SGG's relationship with him"

"I have yet to tell my feelings for you is not just the heartfelt feelings I have for The Boy that is empty in search for a substitute. So I have to think again before asking you that serious question."

I stared at it for a while,

Until dawn slowly breaks.

25 December 2010


Tonight is quiet.

An ageing woman just retired from her day.

* * *

She stare through the windowpane into the busy traffic below.

Beyond the reflection of herself;

Trails of cigarette smoke accompanies her lonesome but reflective night.

13 December 2010

An Advice

Somewhere in time, not too long ago, the face of a younger mother told me:

玩! 再玩! 等

Red Night

"Yea, a glass of red wine please."

* * *

Minutes ago, couple of us were sitting on the cemented bench amidst all the walking hunks and twinks on the second floor. We sighed on the near-deafening trance below, crowded, sweaty, naked. This is Marketplace on a crowded saturday night.

You see occasional boys walking around that you've stalked in Facebook and you begin to wonder if you're lucky tonight.

Not tonight I suppose. For many reasons I've thought, ultimately, I guess it was my decision. I have chosen a friend instead.

"Is that like a police truck?"

We knew immediately, something was wrong. K jumped down and ran. In a rush, we grabbed on each other's palm, pushing through the oblivious dancing bodies. But it was too late.

Familiar faces of ugly cops had moved in earlier and blocked all exits. Now followed by the disappointing stop of loud beats, and the club finally found herself under the glare of spotlights. Silent.

The queue was frustratingly long, so we went upstairs again for air.

Surprisingly, the bar's still available;

** ** **

We drew an emotionless sigh;

knowing tonight's gonna be a long night.

07 December 2010


"The next station, will be two years."

You gave me that sneeriest turn on the edge of your lips.

* * *

In the sardined coach, I watched as you left without turning back. And I know, I have gave a part of myself in the form of a strange twisted sentiment;

for you, Mr. H.

At least for that moment.