29 June 2011


That they almost exclusively floats during times when I am taking a shower or driving, which the latter seems more dangerous obviously.

Yesterday I freaked my mother out when I hit the steering wheel shouting "YES!" after I figured out a way to house the photodetector. Poor lady.

On and all, life seems very much stable after progressive weeks of industrial training. I like the place where I work but, the progress seems remarkably slow. The boss appears always occupied and the work she gave seems elementary. Sometimes I wonder when will she start giving me something a little more profound.

I now reconsider of extending my period of internship. Perhaps, I might find a simple project more rewarding in terms of gratification of building the whole system with my own hands and wits.

Now I hope my friends are forgiving, especially you. For I have missed the times of joy, your day and your smile even if it had occurred just since a shameful disaster in the weekend.

I curse the perpetrator for all prejudice.

As all ugly within my family, stays temporarily out of words now. This week has been a little... nasty. But hey, there is nothing good without bad isn't it? That is our universe's secret.

I know you could understand. :)

28 June 2011

Unggun Bersih

Semakin lara kita didera bara -
kita laungkan juga pesan merdeka:
Demokrasi sebenderang mentari
sehasrat hajat semurni harga diri.

Lama resah kita - demokrasi luka;
lama duka kita - demokrasi lara.
Demokrasi yang angkuh, kita cemuhi;
suara bebas yang utuh, kita idami!
Dua abad lalu Sam Adams berseru:
(di Boston dijirus teh ke laut biru):
Tak diperlu gempita sorak yang gebu,
diperlu hanya unggun api yang syahdu.

Kini menyalalah unggun sakti itu;
kini merebaklah nyala unggun itu.

- A. Samad Said

# Something worth jotting down.

19 June 2011

Reality (shortened)

I'm so damn sick from the persuades of reality.

Money cannot buy ALL of happiness okay? You guys have to realize there are some retards in this money and sex driven world like me are just happy with the things I like to do, so please keep that industrialist idea aside and leave me with my useless theoretical physics and the meaningless picture of the universe.


05 June 2011


It was 9.30pm, I arrived at the cafe alone, found a somewhat comfortable spot, sat and ordered a glass of iced milo awaiting the guest to appear.

M shows up soon. Upon appearance, he told me there's going to be Firsty and Sun coming later.

All's fine.

* * *

I know tonight there's a couple sitting beside our table. During our conversations, M kept raising his voice to attract attention from all directions, specifically intended for the cute boy from next table. The conversation covers nothing more, nothing less than just sex.

Then, was about his boyfriend from Pakistan.

Then, was about how he emotionally cheated his boyfriend with this caring Indian friend.

Then, was about how people dump money on the bed after sessions with him.

Soon came Sun.

M ask Sun to comment on Middle Easterns on bed.

Sun said they are violent. Both agrees.

She mentioned she cheated.

She mentioned which position was her favourite.

She mentioned how her ex abused her on bed so she dumped him.

She mentioned how another ex dumped her.

Then Firsty arrived late.

He flaunt webcam sex with Juns.

He reminds me the make-out sessions he made with cute Sher.

He mentioned his favorite sexual position of all time.

He reminded how he knows about my sexual life.

"What's the kinkiest thing you guys have done?" "how about Sun? you Firsty? how about you Savoir?" "What's your favourite moment on the bed?" "Oh you know ah, his mother know about us already lo, and kinda ok with it oh.." "You know what I like? I like to force the bottom to suck me lo, and I'll push it in deep so he'll gag. I find it very turn on!" "oh Iranians ah, they don't care how you feel wan lo on the bed, just fuck until they happy then they leave. Not even foreplay. My bf don't even want to kiss me before sex."

I don't even want to count the times how many sentences with words like sex, cum, fuck, slut, cheating came out blatantly, not to mention the heads that turned a few times each time these words come out.

I think there's something called speech ethics, and tonight, this table have not been abiding any of the given rules if there are still any left from this modern, media-influenced world.

"Hey, you're working in Singapore right? Have you been to the Pink Dot?"

"Pink dot haven't start yet lar! Get UPDATED ok!"

* * *

I stared at the glowing yellow lights reflected upon the sapphire glass on my watch. Both hands are pointing eleven.

"I should go."

"What you have a CURFEW?"

"I have to work tomorrow, waking up early to avoid.."

"I leave at 3! (to Singapore)" *Firsty toss his usual sarcastic glare*

"That's your problem."

*looks at M, indicating me* "He's such a bitch.."

* * *

Come and think of it, I am so glad of my fast decision a few years ago because Firsty had only show me the ugly side more and more as months and years goes by.

Time has come to move forward in life. No more small bimbo talk on the pleasure of cheating and fun of rampant sex. No more gossips on bed abilities and romanticism of different races.

I guess ...

I am growing up.

And I see these friendships slowly fading away.

03 June 2011

傻, 明知还要仆下去.

Baru disedari oleh sahabatmu bahawa betapa pandirnya aku membenarkan peluang kepada sendiri mempercayai kita mempunyai cahaya harapan walaupun kecerahan sinaran tersebut adalah suram sekali.

Bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan membawa sebarang faedah.

Sila mengizinkan saya mengucapkan selamat tinggal dan selamat berjaya.